Fidele Youth Dance Company Bring Her Home (attempted) Show Reflection

It’s been a few days now and I still can’t find words to sum up what it meant to be there in person and watch Fidele Youth Dance Company bring my book to life on stage. I don’t think I ever will, but I’ll do my best. 

To be honest, I wondered many times before the trip if it was worth it. The organization, being away from family at a really busy time of year (or at all), the cost, the anxiety that came with packing and trying to get everything done before I left, the long flights for such a short stay. 

It was. 

Without a single doubt, every bit of it was worth it. 

The instant I walked through the doors of the foyer, before I’d even seen the show, I knew Fidele was something special. The dancers were backstage but their families were out the front and embraced me as part of the family. Which meant so much, and was only the beginning. They’re an amazing group – both Fidele and the bigger Turning Pointe Dance company. I love how they encourage and so visibly cheer each other on, lifting each other up and praying for each other in their faith, lives and dancing. They’re a true community and it was so special to be included in that family even for just a few days. I can’t wait to see where God takes each of them from here.

When Fidele first asked if they could use my book for their show, I was both thrilled and super honored to agree (who wouldn’t!) but was baffled how they’d be able to. How did one tell a story like Eva’s without words?

Through dance. That’s how. Through choreography and costumes and music and dancers who might be young but brought their characters to life in ways I couldn’t have imagined. To the point that I felt really guilty at times for writing such horrible characters! (Cavendish, Rhea and Flaire, here’s looking at you…) It’s one thing to imagine a story in your head but seeing those characters ‘in person’ is something truly amazing. 

I had the privilege of seeing all three performances and was overwhelmed all over again at each one. 

The first time, I watched the story, fascinated to see how my story would transform into theirs. My apologies to those whose books I signed just after that – I was so giddy and overwhelmed with emotion that my hand was shaking almost too much to write. 

The second time, I knew where it was going so had more of a chance to watch individual dancers. The leads, the ensembles – how every single one of them (even those playing ensemble roles) gave their character personality. They truly made their roles their own. 

The third and last show, I cried. Although sobbed would be probably closer to the truth. Partly because it was the last show and it’s always hard to see something so beautiful be over, but also because I’d had the privilege of meeting almost all the dancers by then and knew their names and how much it meant to them. That, and God spoke to me through it too. 

I came so close to not writing Bring Her Home. When I realized the heartbreak Eva’s story would contain, I said no. No way. I was too unqualified. Too scared of what readers would think. Of what it would do to me. It would break me. Hurt too much. I didn’t want to walk her story, much less get inside her heart to write it. I fought with God over it, but felt Him promise that if I had the courage to write it, He would use it to bring hope. So I wrote it, and to told God He’d better keep His end of this bargain. 

To see those dancers up on stage, putting such emotion and heart into the story I’d come so close to not writing, to hear their stories of how it had impacted their lives and the lives of their families and friends, it was God reminding me time and time again that He’s faithful. He did what he said He’d do. And, in the middle of once again struggling to write the third book of the series, it was such an incredible reminder that He’s not finished with my story yet either. 

I live a long way from most of my readers and rarely get to see in person what God is doing through the stories I write. Last weekend, I got to see it. It was humbling, inspiring, and such an incredible honor. This story has always felt so beyond me, as if I’m merely its caretaker, and I still feel that. But I’m also so beyond thrilled that God would use me and my fumbling words to bring hope to so many people. I can’t stop looking at the photos of the dancers and their families on my phone and just being overwhelmed again at how good God is and what a joy I couldn’t have ever imagined it was to be there and meet them all. I’m so, so glad I didn’t give into fear and miss all that.

As to the show itself, I can’t wait to share it with you all (details on how you can get the recording coming as soon as I get them). It’s absolutely beautiful.

There were two questions I got asked a LOT while I was there. 

The first one was whether I thought they’d done my story justice. Of which the answer is an absolute resounding yes (while wondering how they could ever think it hadn’t!). It was above and beyond what I could have ever imagined and so, so, so beautifully told Eva’s story and that of the Father who never gives up hope or waiting that his children will come home. 

The second was what was my favorite part. As if I could ever choose just one.

There were so many moments that captured my heart and I’ll forever treasure – the first time Eva smiles, Darrek praying, Lior’s grace, the grumpy guard, Arthur’s dance, Maeve’s beauty and faithful encouragement (awww!! Maeve…), the incredible costumes and dancing, the encore song (oh man, I totally lost it at that! Which is a whole story in itself of just how much God cares), the butterflies… I could go on and on and on.

But what stood out most to me was the emotion. They weren’t just dancing the steps, every emotion was on their faces. The uncertainty, the shame, the pain, the battle, the patience, the hope. The moment when they truly start to believe. I was blown away. It was so clear their dancing went beyond acting and was real worship.

To say I loved this show and that it was an unforgettable, overwhelming, humbling honor to be there and meet the amazing people who make up Fidele, both on stage and behind it, still seems a vast understatement. Though I’ve tried, words really can’t express what it meant to me and how much meeting them all has inspired and changed me. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you Fidele Youth Dance Company and Turning Pointe for choosing Bring Her Home and for letting me be part of YOUR story. And thank you more than I can say to those who gave so much that I might be there to see it in person.

I am forever grateful.