Just What I Didn’t Want to Hear

I woke up this morning so drained. It was finally Saturday, and I’d planned to sleep in. Not wake up before the sun. I lay in bed, trying to convince my brain to go back to sleep but it was having none of it, determined instead to go through the week that was. The ups, the downs, the moments I’d begged God for wisdom, the moments I’d smiled, the times I’d cried. The goals I’d wanted to reach, the things on my to do list I’d done and those I hadn’t, the reasons I’d let them go. 

It had been a full week. Nothing particularly out of the ordinary, but full. Taking kids to school and picking them up, doing groceries, planning meals, buying new school shorts and shoes for my ever-growing son, making meals and getting kids to eat them each day, washing, ironing, signing consent forms for excursions, writing, editing, planning, balancing time with others with needing to decompress, trying to figure out how sick a sick child was and whether they should go to school or stay home (and what would be better psychologically for them, since some things are so hard to catch up/miss out on at high school), being thrilled for a friend’s win but knowing that meant I didn’t, mothering, wife-ing, housekeeping, exercising, breathing, broken sleep… Nothing and everything. 

After half an hour of trying to get back to sleep, I gave up. Got up, pulled out my phone to check the Bible verse of the day, as I do first thing each morning. To be honest, I was hoping for something encouraging. A ‘I’m with you’, or ‘I see you’, or ‘I will give you wisdom and strength’ kinda thing.

Not Matthew 25 and a list of all the things this introverted, full time stay-at-home mum, already drained from doing just the bare minimum, wasn’t doing. 

Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” (Matthew 25:34-36)

Getting out there and feeding the hungry, opening my home to others, visiting those in prison, caring for the sick, clothing and caring for the homeless… Volunteering, offering hospitality, donating food, helping those struggling …

Great. Thanks, God, for that reminder that I wasn’t doing any of that. Just what I needed when I was already exhausted and just looking for a bit of encouragement. 

But then, it was like God said, “but you ARE doing all that. It wasn’t to condemn, it was to encourage.

This week, you made meals every morning, lunch and evening, for your family. You cared for your sick daughter, and got up during the night to talk with your son when he couldn’t sleep. You bought clothes (again) for your growing kids. You cleaned your home, and washed and ironed laundry so your family would have clothes to wear. You went places you didn’t want to go, even when you would rather have done other things or it meant letting go of your own plans, for the sake of your family. You helped a friend. More than one. You encouraged someone. More than one. 

No, you didn’t visit an actual prison, or volunteer in a church ministry, or give to the homeless, but you gave My people a home. 

That floor you mopped? You did it for Me. 

Those meals you cooked? You cooked them for Me. 

The laundry you washed and hung and put away every day? You did that for Me. 

The cold concrete step you sat on for an hour to cheer on your child as they fumbled the ball while having an absolute ball playing sport? You did that for Me. 

The child you comforted? You comforted Me. Even thought you didn’t have the words, and begged for wisdom, and wondered if any of it was getting through, or you were just making it worse, you were there. You were there for them – you were there for Me.

The things you gave up that no one else saw or knew about? You did that for Me. I saw it. Every bit of it. I saw what you did all week for them all, even though it was just from your house, in the world I’ve given you right now. I saw what you did for Me.” 

I sat there, stunned. That wasn’t what the verse (chapter) meant, was it? And yet, I couldn’t deny the feeling of approval that swept over me. That God was proud of me and my ‘not enough’. That even though I was an introverted stay-at-home mum who wasn’t even volunteering at her kids’ school anymore, let alone visiting prisons or doing proper ‘mission work’, I was still part of that group – God’s favored ones. That God knew me – my strength, my weakness, what I could handle and what I couldn’t, my family, my responsibilities, where I am today – and this wasn’t His list of what more I should be doing, but a message for my heart. That I was seen. That I was loved. That He was grateful. Proud even. 

It’s so easy to look at everyone else around me and think I’m not doing enough. To compare myself. Or, even, just read my Bible and see all the ways I’m not measuring up. But I think often I’m harder on myself than God is. I saw the verse as condemnation, at first. Yet He offered it as encouragement. And though it took me a while to accept it as such, now I don’t think I’ll ever read those verses again without hearing God’s words:

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”

Maybe today you’re feeling the pressure too, of things not done. Of being at home, or at work, and not doing all those big ministry things. Of doing the same thing, over and over again, and wondering when you’re going to be ‘serving God again’. I pray you hear God’s voice, just as I did, reminding you that you are doing those things. Right where you are. As you mop the floors (again), and make dinner (again), and wonder over and over if you’re doing enough. You’re giving God’s loved ones a home, right where you are. Right in your weakness. In your ‘not enough’.

What you do for your kids, for your friends, for those around you, with the energy God has given you today, you do for Him. Be encouraged. You’re seen. You’re noticed. What you do is valuable. Keep going. You are changing the world.